i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
