I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
