there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
