I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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