I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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