you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
