Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
