I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
