The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
