They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have post one night stand depression
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