Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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