Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
