i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
