is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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