No awkward lesbian experiences without me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
