Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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