girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
