1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
two words...techno handjob
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
