You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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