What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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