Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
