Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
