sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
