I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
