FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
