My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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