I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
