these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
