How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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