FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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