Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
