glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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