why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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