There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
