I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
