What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
