My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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