mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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