Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drake has all the answers
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
