Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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