What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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