Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
