If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
