You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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