that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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