Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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