If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
