party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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