I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That accounts for only three of the penises
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
