he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
